BEOWULF TRAGEDY

 

You must be thinking why the title Beowulf. It's actually a poem of the same name from early English periods and was brought into my life with a book called 'HISTORY OF ENGLISH LITERATURE'. It was a part of our Higher Secondary board curriculum. 

All I can tell u about him is that he was a legendary hero and fought many battles, slew demons, dragons, and even my career. 

Till standard 12th I was a remarkably good student, putting in a lot of hard work, very focused and ranked among the top ten in my class. 

As the board exams drew closer,  I was all set, having solved the last 20 years' question papers, stuffed notebooks with ink, practicing and preparing. I was even almost every time asked by my friends to help them with their doubts. On any given day, if I would have been called for a surprise test I would've sailed through with flying colors. 🌈👍

So as our higher Secondary exams began, I was all excited and confident. Normally before the start, I would always make it a point to inform the students sitting adjacent to me, not to bother me as I never seek help nor extend it during an exam. I like to be on my own so as not to be disturbed. (Who knew, this attitude would backfire like anything!)

My first exam was Hindi, which went fairly well. The very next day was English, without even a day's gap, it was indeed criminal. Still, what could we, the students do- just accept the situation and try to do our best. So by evening when I returned after giving my first paper, I decided to sleep a little and then start off with English. 

You must be thinking that in English there is nothing to be learned. Yes, of course, there is. We used to have two papers, one for language which had grammar and the second was literature which constituted play, prose and verse, three hours each. The language in itself was easy, notwithstanding the HISTORY of English Literature, which was boring and lengthy. 

I went on cramming for hours straight away, eating dinner with a book in hand, just going through notes, revising the long answers. I was already prepared but somehow I have a very bad habit of overdoing things.

The whole night went in looking around for different and tricky questions. Finally, when it was dawn, I decided to sleep a little.  I was up on time all fresh, got ready, took my lunch and went. I was beaming with confidence as I felt I would do well. Everything seemed at the tip of my tongue. 

The first paper went well. 

During the break, I looked up the long answers while having my lunch.

The bell rang, we went back to our seats and waited for the question papers to be distributed.  The moment I got mine I saw the very same Beowulf question which I had been revising. I knew almost all the answers and was spoilt for choice. Finally, I started, going from one question to the next, till I reached the long answers...

I started describing the heroic deeds of Beowulf,  how he fought valiantly and became the king of 'Geatas'. I kept writing never realizing my eyes had started to blink, my hands were getting heavy and slow, and one cloud of drowsiness started to pour upon me. I sluggishly yawned but went on, although my hand became unsteady and slowly I went off to sleep. As I dozed off,  the clock in the examination hall kept ticking, the hands at the back, in front and on the sides kept writing, only mine had stopped ✋. 

Since I wore glasses, even the invigilator didn't notice that I was peacefully asleep with my elbow in the desk and palm holding my face. 

Suddenly someone asked for an extra sheet, I woke up with a start, realizing to my horror that I was in the middle of my board exam. I felt delusional thinking 🤔 what was I writing, and where I was in the sentence what to write next. Oh my gosh, I realized that I had slept for more than half an hour. The next answer on Canterbury Tales by Chaucer was already spinning in my mind along with Beowulf whom I was finding abhorrent now.

Oh, how I frantically went on scribbling...I knew I had screwed up badly 😢. I kept writing trying not to think of anything, still, the anxiety was mind-numbing. Finally, the bell rang, time was up, and a good 60 marks were left to be attempted in a paper of 150 marks 😞. I requested the invigilator, singing my tale as the mariner did, but he said it was against the rules to give extra time to any student. I didn't argue, for I didn't feel like it. There was nothing I could say or do. I simply attached the papers in order, submitted and left the hall. I saw happy faces around me as I came out. I didn't want to talk to anyone. 

I was feeling really disappointed and dejected. But what could be done now? I told my parents on reaching home, that I may have to repeat the year. The stingy way in which marks were given ( unlike today) meant it would be nothing short of a miracle if I could secure passing marks.

It was just my second paper, still had four more to go, but somehow that drive to excel fell from me as did my own shadow. I just waited for all of it to be over.

LESSON LEARNT # NO POINT OVERDOING THINGS, and please sleep well if u don't want to screw up.

REPERCUSSIONS # Although I managed to pass in English but my percentage went down drastically.  

From great, I tumbled down to being average.

I still feel the pinch at every stage. It burns.

I could have done honors 🎖 in my chosen subject.

But finally, pass course was what I had to acquiesce on.    

My post-graduation dreams sank like a dying ship in a storm.

And from the ship, I went on with a little 'life'-boat!

Disclaimer: I am participating in Blogging from A-Z challenge 2022 and this is my first post for A - A Friend in need is a friend indeed.

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/